Squawk Sheet


Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.


Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
Problem Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Problem Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
Solution Evidence removed.
Problem IFF inoperative.
Solution IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Problem Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution That's what they're there for.
Problem Number three engine missing.
Solution Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Problem The autopilot doesn't.
Solution IT DOES NOW.
Problem Something loose in cockpit.
Solution Something tightened in cockpit.
Problem Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
Solution Cannot reproduce Problem on ground.
Problem Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution Live bugs on order.
Problem DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution Volume set to more believable level.
Problem #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.
Solution #2 Propeller seepage normal.
Problem #1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.
Problem F/A's complain of numerous roaches in the galleys
Solution Roaches deplaned
Problem 3 roaches in galley.
Solution 1 roach killed, 1 wounded, 1 got away.
Problem Mouse in radio stack.
Solution Cat installed in radio stack.
Problem Weather radar went ape-%@#&!
Solution Opened radome, let out ape, cleaned up %@#&!
Problem Turn & slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns.
Solution Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!
Problem Whining sound heard on engine shutdown.
Solution Pilot removed from aircraft.
Problem Pilot's clock inoperative.
Solution Wound clock.
Problem Autopilot drops a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500 pounds.
Solution Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300 pounds.
Problem #2 ADF needle runs wild.
Solution Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle.
Problem Lower Rotating Beacon half-full of water.
Solution Lower Rotating Beacon topped off.
Problem Approximately 2 each wires in bundle burned.
Solution Removed and replaced between 1 and 3 wires.
Problem No 2 engine oil overserviced.
Solution No 2 engine oil under-overserviced.
Problem Aircraft handles funny.
Solution Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious!!.
Problem Target Radar hums.
Solution Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

©1997 The AvWeb Group. Reprinted with permission.

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